Witty Quotes

• I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
• In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move.
• A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution?? I sent them to her dad.
• Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
• There is a time and a place for everything, and it's called college.
• What the hell do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
• Dictionary: the only place marriage comes before sex anymore
• If you think education is expensive, try ignorance
• Why should I grow up? This is more fun!
• I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
• Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens.

What Chandrayaan found on the Moon!!!!

Cow Sports

When not to smoke!

Potato Chips!

Indian Traffic - In the near Future

Wisecracks

• When I was a kid, asked god every night to give me a bycicle. Then I realized that god does not work that way. So I stole one and now I ask god to give me forgiveness
• No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
• Jogging for people with less inteligence to watch TV
• If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

What not to say in bed!

I'm Confused!!! Is this the start of something, end of something or is this the whole something??

The Tandoori Song - GODMAMBO Special

Let the Music Begin!

Tak tana na na tandoori nights, give me a few love bites, baby please turn off the lights.
Tak tana na na the Godmambo are in tights, smoking malboro lights, and flying kites.
Tak tana na na lets fight for our civil rights, after the festival of lights, against the ban of smoking rights.
Tak tana na na don’t get into fights, or people will be dressed in whites, to perform your funeral rites.

Godmambo sharabi, dono bhai sharabi,Duniya sharabi, dildar ve!!Sparks mein log sharabi, Dj sharabi,Emcee sharabi, lekin lagti hai hot ve.

Tanha tanha hai hotel room,Tanha hai meri nights,If smoking weed is wrong,I don’t wanna be right

Rabba rabba meri jaan jale, jale, jale, jale. (Repeat like a broken CD)
Tak tana na na tandoori nights, give me a few love bites, baby please turn off the lights.
Tak tana na na the Godmambo are in tights, smoking malboro lights, and flying kites.
Tere bin tere bine meri jaan jale, jale, jale, jale
Tak tana na na lets fight for our civil rights, after the festival of lights, against the ban of smoking rights.
Tak tana na na don’t get into fights, or people will be dressed in whites, to perform your funeral rites.

The True Identity of the GODMAMBO revealed

What really happened when Cowreena posed for the Paparazzi!

A personal message to you from the cows!

Dirty Secrets :)

The Tunnel of Doom

Witty Wisecracks

It is easy to display a wound, the proud scars of combat. It is hard to show a pimple - Cohen, Leonard

The kiss is an ingenious invention that prevents lovers from uttering too many inanities – Morandotti, Alessandro

They say that in the end truth will triumph, but it's a lie - Chekhov, Anton

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him - Szasz, Thomas

You recognize a true friend by how he lies to you - Morandotti, Alessandro

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse - Szasz, Thomas

How Godzilla and Mogambo are related

GODMAMBO part 2

Memoirs of a Geisha!
OOPS!! Sorry!
Memoirs of two bones

That sounds better and more appropriate, I must say. So, my dear friends it’s time we went back in time to peep into the secret world of the GODMAMBO and listen to their sacred words.

For many moons now I have been puzzled by the adage
“Eat well. Stay fit”.

This is because the first thing people ask when they see me is “Hey! Are you eating well?” I’m sure a lot of people have asked Mogambo the same thing too. This was because at one point of time, the GODMAMBO would have given any female model a run for her money! Size “zero” and the GODMAMBO were synonymous.

The funny thing about the “Eat well. Stay Fit” adage is that it’s not a complete sentence. It is grammatically correct no doubt, but it does not show you or anyone else the complete picture. The adage should actually be
“Eat well. Stay fit. Die anyway”… Now that perfect!

Moving ahead, I must mention that Mogambo was a big hit among the girls. He was really smooth with the women. More than once, I’ve seen him brooding over a broken heart. I’ve caught him sitting by the corner, puffing away to glory, clean shaved for a change, smiling, showing all those thirty two teeth of his and feeling thrilled that he’s a free bird again!

Any third person would have thought the opposite, that Mogambo has finally found his true love! But oh no! Not Mobambz. He would be giggling away saying,

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you?”

The GODMAMBO were always the kind of guys who looked at the positive side of things; even when it came to heart breaks and oh, even death.

It was Christmas time and all the little kids were exited about Santa Claus. Mogmbo and I had written a letter and was hoping the postal service delivered it to Santa on time. Just to ensure that Santa was happy, we joined a play. I was to act as Joseph and Mogambo was in the band playing the trumpet. During one of the rehearsals, Mogambo decided to be different and do something new to please Santa and he wanted to do it solo. He asked the band members to stop playing, took a deep breath, cracked his knuckles and played the funeral tune! We never received our gifts that Christmas!!

Whatever said and done, the GODMAMBO were really sweet people. There was a big ferocious dog just outside Godzilla’s house. Though it chased the GODMAMBO a couple if times and almost had them for dinner, they did a really sweet thing when it died. They carved a gravestone for it with the words

“Here lies,
All cold and hard,
The last damn dog,
That pooped in my yard!”

Some humor to tikle the bones.... PS: real life stories

GODZILLA & MOGAMBO

So, finally all you people who like to read articles wanna know the meaning behind the sacred words of GODMAMBO?

I see you have traveled far and wide, through a million webpages to answer the question burning deep inside you, "What are you guys smokin' anyway?"

Well finally all will be revealed.

Many many moons ago a compatriot and I, were sitting down on comfortable chairs in a not so big room and were laughing away, when we stumbled upon a secret... This golden box to be exact!!

Inside lay something that you have seen a million times in movies. Accompanying these pieces of superb art were two bags of bones, smiling from ear to ear anxiously looking for a way to light that stuff up! Art quickly turned to smoke as the two blokes quickly puffed at it! What a relief! That was one of the many things the GodMambo did together.

Ever remember those days when you always wanted to be called a quick learner and show the world how responsible you were. Well, Mogambo was one such little monster with great heights (literally) in mind.

It was the time when the GodMambo ruled over one fourth of the kingdom. Kingdom of angels you can say, and GodMambo were the evil ones who always had evil ideas and plans. They hatched a scheme to attain great heights with a mere bamboo stick. Unfortunately, Godzilla was not a quick learner.

Do not dread my friends! Mogambo was up to the challenge. He had chased away a bunch of pariah dogs before with that big bamboo stick of his. We were on the enemies turf and they had the upper hand. As Godzilla ran away, Mogambo with his neat Rajanikanth skills used the stick to show the dogs “Who is the BOSS!”

Getting back to the point, Mogambo scaled great heights that day. The lone warrior of the green clan was like a bird! Until reality hit him smack across the face. He ended up in the hospital with a broken wrist and an experience that reinforced the fact that pole vault was not meant for GodMambo. Somehow the only person with a positive feeling that day was Godzilla as he was really pleased that he was not a fast learner!

By now I am sure that you all have realized that Mogambo was the brave one of the two. His bravery saw no bounds. He was chased by dogs, hens, snakes, bison’s, cows… You name an animal, and he was chased by all of them. No wonder he won the 100 meters race in school!

Mogambo was a hero beyond doubt! While playing cricket, he would run 50 meters like lightning to save Godzilla from dropping a catch and in the process he would drop it himself! He would get hit on his eye and worry more about how he will look in the photographs than what happened to the match!

Ask the rulers of the blue clan as to “why did the chicken crossed the road”? And they would say “It was a government conspiracy”.

Ask the rulers of the yellow clan as to “why did the chicken crossed the road”? And they would say “In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.”

Ask the rulers of the red clan as to “why did the chicken crossed the road”? And they would say “And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road and the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.”

Finally ask the rulers of the green clan as to “why did the chicken cross the road”? And they would say “huh!!!”

Hail GODMAMBO the true kings!